Quality vs Quantity

It's been 4 months and 20 days since the last time I had sex but hey who is counting. This Summer I was working all of the time and did not really have the opportunity to get some. Any guy I was interested in, I would say, " Hey I get off at 11PM, want to meet me here at 10:30PM and we can go out from here..." Who the fuck is able to meet someone at 10:30PM on a Tuesday anyways. The answer is very few and those aren't people I necessarily want to be sleeping with anyways. For such a sexual person, I have come to the point in my life where I dont want to just have sex to have sex. All of the bull shit drama that comes with it doesn't appeal to me anymore. I dont want him to sleep over and I dont want to sleep over at his place either. 

I have literally kicked guys out of my vagina midway through sex. I am looking at them and totally get turned off, put my feet up against their chest and extend my legs... I feel bad but its almost as if my cognitive brain kicks in and is so grossed out by these guys or the fact that it isnt pleasureable because I am just having sex to have sex. I dont really know what it is but it has happened more than once.  

"Eww, get out of me!" - My brain 

I have brought guys home when I have been a few sheets to the wind and before even getting in the cab to come uptown, I have flat out said, "You are not sleeping over!" When the act was all said and done, I dont feel bad sending them back down to the West Village to pick up their bike to head home to somewhere in deep Brooklyn. I told them upfront! I have become a fan of sex in parks or public places. Again, no commitment for them coming over. Wham Bam Thank You Sir! 

But seriously, I am at the almost 5 month mark, I have the option to have sex with someone night but its so planned out, " I have a meeting in midtown at 3PM and can be at yours by 5PM but have dinner back dowtown at 8PM." Where is the romance? Where is the foreplay? Anything.... Sex nowadays isnt sexy. I have been going out trying to broaden my group of friends and some of these women are making it way too easy for guys. I think these women are trying to feel empowered and be the "Samantha" of their group but they are making it too easy for guys. Now men feel like they dont have to court women at all.  It is total BS. Maybe I am just more of a romantic than other people. Maybe I have come to that point in my life where I would rather have a connection with someone instead of just sleep with someone just for the act of sleeping with someone. Who knows. I do know that I am very good at getting myself off and lord help the next person I actually sleep with because it will be hot, wet and down right dirty. I apologize to my neighbors in advance! 

40 Before 40

Everyone should have a bucketlist. You know things that one would like to accomplish in his or her lifetime. To make it more accessible and not as far fetched, I like the idea of 40 before 40. Since I am 32, I think that if I put it out there now, I actually will have time and know what I want to achieve in the next 7.5 years. So here we go. (This will be an on going list as I continue to add things!) 

1. Go to a continent that I haven't been to. (South America, Africa, Australia, Antarctica)

2. Go skydiving 

3. Buy a house/Apt 

4. Become a Reiki Practitioner

5. See a game courtside

(I am obviously still working on this!) 

My thoughts are in Brussels

I don't understand suicide bombs. Most recently in Brussels and Istanbul. Radicals killing innocent people left and right because "their god said so?" Really? I dont know any god that says to kill other people. And if there is one, I think it is much safer for the rest of the world, if we just exile those believers. I don't understand why it is so difficult for everyone to get along. We need to teach acceptance and learn to get along with others. Appreciate everyone's difference even if we don't believe in them ourselves. People are allowed to believe whatever they want however, not if it includes killing innocent people. These individuals are just going about their day, going to the airport to potentially go on vacation, see their family and then some radical just instantly kill them for not doing anything to them directly. Killing strangers to make a point. I can't except this. My heart breaks every time something like this happens as it should. The repercussions from these acts are forever lasting. From the security measures to different constructions measures, will change everything forever.  

#FBF Music Edition to circa 2007

My best friend Jesika and I used to have serious dance parties to this song. We were living in LA at the time and in our early 20's having way too much, if that is even possible! 

27lbs in 1 year

Yesterday marked a huge accomplishment for me. I have officially lost 27lbs in 365 days. Everyone asked how I did it. It sounds stupid but the normal way people do it. Eat right and exercise silly. However, a lot more was involved into besides the obvious. 

This time last year I was living in Napa and not happy at all. I was in recovery, sort of, from my horrible SF life and in hibernation mode. Plus there isn't a ton of things to do in Napa for a single girl in her 30's. I created a little thing called Romance for One. This allowed me to reconnect with myself. I cooked nightly, watched movies, took baths and hung out with myself. I was a little lonely but it was really good for me. I got to find ME again. 

In this quest, I drank a lot of wine (hey, I was in Napa!) and ate really delicious home cooked food. Nothing was off limits and I wanted to become a good home cook. Cause why not, right? After living in NY, where you use your oven as storage, I was nice to actually have a kitchen I could cook in. I was eating steak, mashed potatoes (with a lot of butter and cream) and all sorts of desserts. I love to bake! Always have since I was a little girl. 

This was not at all conducive to my waistline but I didn't give 2 shits. I was becoming happy again. Around this time, I left my job at the winery and decided it was time to come home to New York. I missed it and knew that even though I wouldn't get to see my family as much, I would be where I was suppose to be. I moved back the first part of March on 2015. It was almost instant that I started to loose weight. Why? Cause you are never in a car in New York unless it is a cab. You are always being active and walking somewhere. While I was in CA, I would barely walk 6,000 steps (according to my Fit Bit). No one walks in CA. LA, OC, SF, Napa...no one really walks anywhere. Yes, even in SF....everyone uber's. 

I joined Equinox in May and due to my work schedule, barely went.  At $225/a month it is a very expensive membership not to use everyday. However, at work, I would average 18,000-25,000 steps/a day. So at least, I was moving my ass. I would look sometimes to see how many flights of stairs I had done and when it was close to 100, I would go up and down those fuckers just to hit 100. That is a huge accomplish. Your legs feel like noodles afterwards, let me tell you. 

When working in the restaurant, surrounded by food all of the time, it is hard not to be a fatty. You get to order whatever you want off the menu and pasta always sounds good. I constantly made the decision to order meat and a salad. Sometimes I would order the pizza I wanted. Life is way too short not to enjoy the foods that you love. I just made the valiant effort not to due it every single night. I watched my coworkers weight gain and used it as inspiration to not order the double patty cheeseburger that I really wanted. 

My entire life I have struggled with weight. Well, not when I was a small child but since puberty though. I have always had a little belly, big tits and no ass. I carry all of my weight in my stomach just like my mother. I have stick legs and a round belly. Like most people, I hate my body type. We have been brainwashed to feel that way I think. My sister, I swear, was born with a 6 pack and 5% body fat. I will admit, some of the happiest times in my life was when I was my heaviest. Plus I was getting a ton of ass. Go figure right! 

Once I moved back to New York, I was mobile again. Making moves. My 20's were spent (and meant to be spent) destroying my body. So much alcohol and drugs with little regard to how it would effect my body. I had a really good time in my 20's. I did them right. My 30's are about preserving my body. I pickled it before and now we need to keep it that way. I keep reading these articles about things you should do in your 30's that will make your life better in your 50's. Besides saving money and all of that stuff, its all about preserving your body. Minimal drinking and recreational drug usage. Take up a sport. Mediate. Learn to cook. Read 10 books per year. You get the idea. I retook up Yoga recently since I have been on sabbatical. I go 4 times a week and love it. I feel better when I do yoga compared to running for an hour or any other activity at the gym. Zumba is fun too but I dont feel like I am building muscle or strength. Its just a silly dance party at the gym. 

Mediation is something I got into a few years back. I will say that it is a game changer. Mediation is literally the best thing someone can do for themselves. From dealing with stress to exercising different breathing techniques to your state of mind...it is the best. I have better orgasms since I have started mediation. It is from the breathing. Almost tantric like and they last a really long time. Guys freak out sometimes when its a really good one and you are "oooooo"ing for literally over a minute. They tend to stop the first time it happens and look at your weird like, "Are you okay?" I get mad because they make me come out of this euphoric state by stopping and responding to them. 

So 27lbs in 1 year. The simple answer to how I did it is I worked out and made conscious decisions on what I put in my mouth. Sounds silly but it is what I did. 

PSA: Look Up!

Attention New Yorkers: Stop looking at the ground when you are walking around. Look up at the buildings, the architecture, the lights, the people and see the beauty that is this city. Smell it and breathe it in. Put on your headphones, pick a playlist and go! It is the best place in the world and you are here! Appreciate the moment. #WeAreLucky 

My favorite Restaurants in NYC

Spotted Pig:

What I order: Deviled Eggs and Skirt Steak

L'Artusi:

What I order: Tagliatelle Bolognese and Olive Oil Cake

Minetta Tavern:

What I order: Black Label Burger (the fries suck but the burger is the best) and Rhubarb Sophie Cocktail

Il Mulino: 

Ordering is varied! 

Barbuto:

What I order: The Chicken of course. Also if there is gnocchi on the menu! 

Raoul's

What I order: Steak au poivre (best in the city!)

The Modern

What I order: Tasting menu always! Most decedent meal of my life. 

Breslin

What I order: Lamb Burger and what appetizers that are in season. Also, any specials! 

Aldea

Ordering varies! 

Il Sodi

What I order: Any pasta! Literally any!

Annisa

Ordering varies depending on the season. 

Babbo

What I order: Lamb's Tongue Salad and Calf's brain ravioli

Blaus Gans

What I order: Steak Tartare

Blue Hill

What I order: Tasting menu

Blue Ribbon Brasserie

Ordering varies depending the time of night I am here. Everything tastes really good at 3AM. But always some oysters.  

Indochine

What I order: Steamed Chilean Sea Bass 

Clinton St Bakery

What I order: Southern Breakfast (Only go for Breakfast)

Joe Shanghai

What I order: 2/3 orders of pork soup dumplings. Maybe the pork shoulder (it isnt on the menu)

Eleven Madison Park

What I order: Tasting Menu

Joseph Leonard

Ordering is varied

Gramercy Tavern

Ordering is varied

Terrior in Tribeca (I hate the East Village Location)

What I order: Meatballs and a glass of reisling

Il Buco

What I order: Black Kale Salad and whatever pasta tickles me fancy

Ippudo

What I order: Tori-Shio Ramen

Jewel Bako

What I order: Omakase

Little Owl

What I order: Meatball Sliders and Halibut

Momofuku Ssam and Noodle Bar

What I order: Pork Buns and whatever else I feel like

Porchetta

What I order: Porchetta Sandwich

Prune 

Ordering Varies depending on Breakfast and Dinner

The Smile

What I order: Pastry Basket (Only Go For Breakfast) 

Beatrice Inn

Meat Pie, Kale Salad and Fois Gras Petit Fours

Manhattan: Ella Fitzgerald

Manhattan

FEBRUARY 08, 2016

I just want to go to Bemelman's, wearing a fur coat and drink Manhattan's listening to this song! 

Formation: Beyonce

Thoughts On Beyonce's New Track

FEBRUARY 07, 2016

I like it but not love it! Its catchy. "I slay, I slay, Okay, I slay." The fashions in the video are spot on! My personal favorite is the black on black on black on the porch with her hat over her face! Fucking chic! I can see the MO's pulling some new dance moves from this for sure! 1000 to 1 she is going to perform this at the Super Bowl tonight! Go Team B Go! 

Activate Me

Activate Me

FEBRUARY 04, 2016

This is my girl Zoe's band Astr. I meet Zoe in at Yoga Vida a few years back and fell in love with her energy. She can reach into your being and make you come alive. Whether in her music or in yoga, Zoe is got the Jus and her music makes me want to dance! Enjoy! 

Only Living Boy in New York

Only Living Boy in New York

FEBRUARY 05, 2016

In 2004, a little movie called Garden State came out. The movie itself was alright. For sure not worthy of an Oscar or Golden Globe or anything of that nature. However, the soundtrack is one of the best compiled albums of all time. Well, at least in my opinion. At the time, I was in college, living at home with my parents and you can imagine when you are through something, the last thing you want to do at that age is talk to your parents about it. I found myself driving around a lot listening to music to get my emotions out. I vividly remember driving down the 55 FWY, on a rainy night, bawling my eyes out over so guy and listening to this song on repeat. Well, the whole album to be honest. I eventually pulled myself together and went home. I realized a few things that night, some guys are worth it and this album is perfect for a rainy day. Granted it only rains like 3 times a year in CA but did I wear out this CD driving around in my mini cooper on those 3 days. And, yes I know you shouldn't be driving around in the rain, but I loved it. I love how the street lights reflect off of the pavement at night. I've always found it so beautiful. 

So on this snowy day in New York City, I only felt it appropriate to share this song! 

Enjoy! 

#tbt Music Edition: Annie Lennox

I can't help but start dancing to the this song! 

#tbt Music Edition: Pointer Sisters

When I was a kid, every Saturday morning we had our choirs to do around the house. We got to chose from dust and clean the bathrooms or vacuum. My sister and I took turns on who did what. Mom would be in the kitchen cleaning and my dad would be in and out of the house doing yard work and other random stuff around the house. We would blast music and have a dance party cause who really likes to clean? This was a staple song for those morning of cleaning house. Enjoy! 

A legend is leaving us

Patricia Field's store on Bowery officially closes in 15 days. It's been a staple outpost for me since I arrived in New York 9 years ago. I always buy my sunglasses from there along with several special occasion outfits. Pat, a native New Yorker, is one of the world's greatest fashion visionaires. She was the costume designer behind Sex and the City and Devil's Wear Prada.  She has been in business since 1966. Granted her shop moved locations once but to have this icon closing up shop is a very sad day. 

Daily Thought...

You'd think that people would
Have had enough of silly love songs
But I look around me and I see it isn't so
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs
And what's wrong with that?

Love doesn't come in a minute
Sometimes it doesn't come at all
I only know that when I'm in it
It isn't silly, no, it isn't silly, love isn't silly at all!

-Wings "Silly Love Songs"